Here’s the seventh episode of the Writing Talk Podcast.
In this episode of The Writing Talk Podcast, I’m talking about the ways that beta readers can help, and ask whether head hopping is okay in your writing.
For those who aren’t familiar with the term “beta reader” – and welcome by the way – a beta reader is someone who reads an early version of your work. This is typically before you employ an editor. “Head hopping” is the name often given to writing that shares the thoughts and internal feelings of more than one character in a single scene.
I hope you enjoy listening.
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Show Notes
When should you share your work? This is a personal decision. Build a relationship of trust with your beta readers.
Why would you use a beta reader? Very valuable big picture feedback and catching early errors.
Who makes a good beta reader? Fellow writers, avid readers, people who enjoy your genre.
What should you ask your beta readers?
- anything awesome – to make sure I don’t go and cut out your favourite part
- any parts you found boring
- any sections that are too confusing to follow
- any parts you just didn’t believe.
What NOT to tell them. Don’t prime them or you’ll spoil their experience and prejudice their judgement.
Show your appreciation. Flowers are nice!
What on earth is head hopping? Is it a bizarre drug induced ritual?
Head hopping is describing internal thoughts and sensations from multiple characters in one scene.
e.g.
Kilgore can’t help but smile; the two men shake hands as if they’re at a dinner party rather than hunched in the rubble behind a rapidly disintegrating SUV with bullets and RPGs raining down on every side.
“So, what’s your plan?” Kilgore says. “Don’t tell me you’ve got a bunch of mines laid out again – unless…” He lets his voice trail away. I wouldn’t put it past him, he thinks.
But Will just grins, enjoying the look on his new friend’s face. Like a kid waiting for Christmas. “Not mines,” he says. “But I do have something up my sleeve.”
From the last chunk – cut “enjoying the look on his new friend’s face. Like a kid waiting for Christmas”
so the text becomes: But Will just grins. “Not mines,” he says. “But I do have something up my sleeve.”
Head hopping can work and common in some genres. Can drop the reader out of the moment. Stick to one character in the spotlight in a scene – scenes can be very short. Leave a blank line to signal a new scene.
Let’s not bamboozle ourselves but omniscient narrator is different. Most common povs are third person and first person and the pov is limited to what the main character can reasonably know and sense.
Choose your pov, establish it very early and stick to it (unless you’re switching for effect, in which case handle with care).
Reading of The Week – Trespass
https://books2read.com/trespass
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Links to Writing Resources:
Great podcast where I got my four prompts for beta readers (sorry I forgot to credit this source in the show): Writing Excuses Podcast
Article on head hopping from Randy Ingermanson: Advanced Fiction Writing
Thanks for another great podcast! I thought your 4 beta reader items sounded familiar. I listen to Writing Excuses Podcast too. 🙂
Concerning “head hopping”… I’ve been struggling with this topic. I’m planning a scene in my book that almost requires it based on what’s being seen. So in that scene I’ve decided to split it up into 2 scenes by putting in an intermediary scene elsewhere, then switching back to continue with another POV. But for other scenes I’m wondering if it would still be ok.
Here’s an example from a draft of the novel I’m working on:
The pair studied the box. Whatever lay inside had caused Darby’s death. Jace wondered if it had some connection to what was going on at the palace. Anna’s thoughts were on the ransacked church–was this what they’d been searching for?
Whether this works or not may depend on how familiar we are with the characters. My two protagonists are Jace and Anna (husband and wife), and I’ve already had previous scenes in each of their POVs. Because of the reader’s familiarity with them, I’m wondering if head hopping is acceptable. What are your opinions about getting away with head hopping based on whether we’ve already been inside the characters’ head in previous scenes? Someone please give me your 1st impression of that paragraph–does it come across too jarring to you?
Thanks Stephen – I always appreciate your support. Personally, although it’s hard to comment on a piece out of context, I’ve come to the conclusion that head hopping is best avoided. In your example, I’d suggest that you at least separate the thoughts into separate paragraphs and maybe add something to signpost the switch, e.g. a bit of body language or even some dialogue. Good luck with your writing.
Thanks Stephen – I always appreciate your support. Personally, although it’s hard to comment on a piece out of context, I’ve come to the conclusion that head hopping is best avoided. In your example, I’d suggest that you at least separate the thoughts into separate paragraphs and maybe add something to signpost the switch, e.g. a bit of body language or even some dialogue. Good luck with your writing.
hmmm, yeah when I read it again I can see that I’ve switched from 3rd limited to 3rd omniscient. I’ll straighten it up on my next edit through. Thanks!
I must have missed this episode. I don’t recall it, at any rate, but the topic caught my eye, because head hopping is really something I dislike. If you switch between characters, give them their own chapter, which is totally fine. But head hopping in any other way takes me out of the story.
You did do some head hopping in the final version of Cheatc0de, and it stopped my reading for that night. Not sure why I feel that way, but it puts a great deal of distance to the characters for me. Like the other character is invading the first characters POV. It feels rather disturbing.
Thanks for commenting. It’s very valuable to have feedback – I’m always trying to improve my work. Feel free to email me and let me know what parts took you out of the story. That said, there are parts of Cheatc0de that have an intentionally disturbing and quite frenetic feel to them – blurred and concealed identities are quite unsettling I think. Always nice to hear from you.